The Six Basic Love Styles

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Often times I find myself wondering about the elusive feeling that is love, and more importantly, true love. As an over-analytical person, it overwhelms me to think about the innate combination of factors needed to encounter and maintain this emotion. Starting from basic physical attraction (yes please), to interpersonal compatibility (understandable), then slipping deeper into the uncontrollables like emotional availability, personal issues/ complexes, bloated ego’s, and even just timing between TWO people, it once seemed unrealistic to believe that anybody can truly be “in love.”

Royston Langdon and Liv Tyler

But despite our blues, what they say is true. True love exists, and chances are you have felt it too. (C what I did there ;) )

In his 1973 book The Colors of Love, John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel. Just as there are three primary colors, Lee suggested that there are three primary styles of love. These three styles of love are: (1) Eros, (2) Ludos and (3) Storge. Three secondary styles:  Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love, Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love, and Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love.

Continuing the color wheel analogy, Lee proposed that just as the primary colors can be combined to create complementary colors, these three primary styles of love could be combined to create nine different secondary love styles.

Here’s a closer look into each style:

Click to enlarge

Regardless of your love style, love is love, and it happens when you least expect it. With the styles of Eros and Agape in mind, I leave you with a lovely excerpt from William Purcell’s The Fairy-Queen:

If Love’s a Sweet Passion, why does it torment?
If a Bitter, oh tell me whence comes my content?
Since I suffer with pleasure, why should I complain,
Or grieve at my Fate, when I know ’tis in vain?
Yet so pleasing the Pain is, so soft is the Dart,
That at once it both wounds me, and Tickles my Heart.

Click here for “52 fascinating facts about love.”

So how do you love?

MBTI: The16 Personality Types

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The result of my decision to switch to Communication as my major is best described by Shakespeare’s quote from the play, Twelfth Night: “Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.” T’was a thrust of greatness indeed! Although I had no idea what Communication entailed, I honestly chose it because it was the bullet train out of college. Surprisingly, I soon learned that Comm. combined all of the things that interested me about my previous major(s) plus a delightful hint of psychology. This made me comfortable, happy and engaged, which were feelings I once thought to be mythical in a classroom.

Anyway, in my Organizational Communication class we learned about ways an organization/company begins to have problems (similar to industrial psychology) through case studies and the different strategies that can be used to correct these issues. Although this class was mostly for those wanting to become consultants, there were many things I took away that were useful not only in the workplace but in real life.

One of these goodies was the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). This personality assessment essentially helps you understand yourself and how you fare in the workplace, relationships, and everyday life.  Much like Astrology, this Jungian based assessment suggests that there are not 12, but 16 personality types and we are all dominated by one. Unlike Astrology, this tool has no relationship with the constellations, but with our own four “dichotomous cognitive functions” (say that three times fast).

Carl Jung

Created by Isabel Myers-Briggs during WWII, the test was meant to help women better understand their personalities to find jobs suitable for them as they entered the workforce during the Industrial Era. Now the MBTI is the world’s most widely used personality assessment test (you go girl!)

In order to figure out which one you fall in to, you have to choose one letter from each row; Once you have your four letters, you’re ready to start researching the strengths and weaknesses of your personality, ideal career(s), and even interpersonal compatibility.

Taking the official Myers-Briggs assessment will cost you, but there are hundreds of websites that will give you a clear picture of your personality type without having to pay. I’ll post other personality assessment tests in the future, but in the meantime, keep in mind that the MBTI is just an indicator and not an indication to quit your job and leave your significant other :)

Happy Wednesday!

The wonderful world of StumbleUpon

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This summer has been my most eventful yet.  Graduating college, job hunting, being Maid of Honor at my sister’s wedding and other lovely surprises have led me to neglect my blog. But now I’m back and more than ready to keep sharing the wonderful treasures of cyberspace. Hi.

Continuing the subject of job hunting (as you may have noticed it’s all I can think about these days), it’s no secret that finding a job right now is more difficult than ever. Truthfully, upon graduating I figured that employers would be lucky to have this prodigy working for them and landing a job would be a shoe-in, at least for me. Needless to say I was oh-so mistaken. After sending out dozens of resumes, customized cover letters and follow-up emails, and not getting a single call back has been … humbling, to say the least. But eventually I will prevail, and so will you!

Giving us a nudge in the right direction, is the wonderful website Stumbleupon.com. I’m sure most of you have explored this versatile site and have lost count of your sleepless nights because of that “Stumble!” button (I must be talking about myself here). But if you haven’t, please do. Making Michael Jackson proud, it truly makes the world/internet a better place by taking you to sites tailored to your interests that otherwise you would’ve never seen.

As I was about to stumble today, I came across a page on their site titled “How to use StumbleUpon to find a job.” Given the explanatory nature of the title, the link below will do it all more justice than any summary I could ever give, plus it gives you other relevant links that may be more to your liking.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/blog/how-to-use-stumbleupon-to-find-a-job/

I’ve vowed to stop blogging about finding a job (finally) until I’ve actually found one. So I hope you all find this useful and let me know if it works!